Words are spells
Just recently, I read about the power of words in two different books. We have all experienced this power when in an argument. Words can hurt. Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you, never rang true because words have hurt me. One of the authors went further, suggesting that the words we speak cast a spell, that is where the term spelling comes from, the act of writing words. My mind was blown. I never thought about the power of words as casting a spell. The power and energy behind words can definitely have impact for better or worse. I started analyzing my speech, I didn’t have to go far, you see, I am a swearer.
Swearing came naturally to me at a young age, as I had some good role models, plus I grew up in rural Michigan. For some reason unending gloomy skies and freezing temperatures brings the swears out in some people. My reputation for swearing and the ease and eloquence of it has been a topic of many conversations with family and friends. We would laugh and the conversation would move on but the fact that I could make a sailor blush, always left me feeling uneasy. The fact that everyone around me notices my penchant for profanity and I am known for it wasn’t a source of pride. I am not a prude, as my weaving of a tapestry has proven, but I have this unsettled feeling about it. But what am I to do? Swear jars, pleading kids, teaching at a school, nothing could rid me of this habit. In fact, the more I kept the swears in, the more it would stream from me in an unholy rant. I have read many articles about swearing, mostly reaffirming my belief that it is an ok habit, it’s a sign of intelligence, a way to release stress, a pressure valve for anger. It is so interesting how we often look externally for confirmation of our beliefs or habits. But the correlation between swearing and anger hit me. Obviously, swearing occurs when angry or upset. Raging at the world for not being how I imagined it should be. But my swearing is a regular pattern of speech. What spells am I casting with these words? It feels good to swear. I can’t describe the release but there is a release when done correctly. There is also significant shame when done unconsciously in a fit of rage. I started noticing patterns of when, where, and why I swear. Sinking deep in reflection I realized it was a culturally accepted way of expressing anger. I have a lot of anger and repressed hurt. Spewing a few well strung profanities was a release valve that was met with laughter. It gave me some street cred, I was cool. It was outwardly rewarded, so I kept doing it. Not realizing the impact of the words not only on me but my outer world. What spells am I casting?
Over the last few years, my swearing has waned. My stress, anger, and sadness have found new avenues of release through mediation, yoga nidra, breath and energy work. Reputations are hard to change, but my new found way of relating to the world with more thought and consciousness to my word choice has made an impact on my speech. I still get mugs and socks memorializing my quick draw middle finger and profane tirades but that isn’t me anymore. My husband even commented, you don’t really do that anymore. Yeah, I know, change sometime takes time, but through slow, steady, conscious choices you can get there.
If you are interested in exploring habitual patterns and thoughts, I invite you to try Yoga Nidra. It is an ancient yogic practice that utilizes different states of consciousness to welcome, recognize and witness our internal world and reframe old, outdated thought patterns.
