Accepting What Is
Moving through life while trying to do the right thing isn't always easy. You put your best foot forward, with good intentions and all that, and then—BAM! You mess up. You say something foolish, do something unconsciously, and suddenly find yourself in an unexpected conflict. You wish you could turn back time to undo what you did, but that's not how time works. This has been my human experience. Can you relate?
What do you do with a gut full of regret? Move. Go for a walk, work out, clean the house—let your mind process what happened. Feel the emotions, cry if you need to, but then, after all that, after making amends or not, it's about accepting what is, forgiving yourself, and letting it go.
Yes, easier said than done. If self-flagellation were an Olympic sport, I’d be a gold medalist. It's my default in these situations, a pattern I'm working hard to change by practicing acceptance, forgiveness, and, ultimately, letting shit go. If there's a lesson to be learned from the situation, then maybe the emotional upheaval is worth the pain. No pain, no gain, as they say.
How to accept what is? Drop your resistance to it. Wishing it hadn't happened or dwelling on the fact that it did is resisting reality. Stop doing that. The ego loves to complain, ruminate, and generally be unhappy, especially our "pain bodies." Eckhart Tolle explains that these pain bodies are the accumulation of unresolved emotional pain within us. Everyone has one. Some are larger and easier to trigger, but everyone has one as part of the ego. Pain bodies need negativity to survive; they need a regular dose or they start to lose their power. Seeking out negative experiences and creating conflict is a perfect way to feed this inner monster.
Today, my pain body was triggered. I fed the monster. Now, all there is to do is accept, forgive, and forget. Easier said than done, but I'm up for the challenge.
